Realizations
by riz3greym0n
Summary: "The more you were with Fareeha, the more your feelings for her grew and the more you found new and sudden urges begin to arise. The only reason you hadn't discussed the possibility of taking things to the next level with your girlfriend was because you were too scared to do so."
1. Chapter 1

The room was filled with darkness, the only source of light coming from the television that sat on the desk in front of the bed. Some kind of sci-fi movie marathon was on. It was about a robot assassin that was sent back into the past to kill the protagonist. You didn't really catch the rest of the plot though, as you quickly lost interest in the movie. Instead, your focus was mainly on your girlfriend, who you were happily cuddled up to under the blankets.

Fareeha sat upwards with her back against the headboard and was currently invested in the book she was reading. You laid partially on top of her, admiring her exposed smooth skin and muscles. You were thankful that she wore nothing but a sports bra and a pair of boxers, because it allowed you to slowly caress her fairly toned abs.

Exploring your lover's body wasn't a new thing for you, and despite your low sex drive (or slight lack of one), it wasn't something that made you uncomfortable either. However, tonight was for some reason just a bit different. You couldn't stop yourself from feeling almost every inch of her, and you didn't want to either. Reaching up, you brushed your fingers along her very toned arms, up to the curve in her neck, and then back down to her stomach, stopping just below her chest. A soft yet shaky sigh escaped your lungs as you admired the security guard's form.

"Habibti," Fareeha spoke, her gaze shifting away from her book and down at you, "you're very handsy tonight." She chucked, clearly basking in the attention you were giving her upper body.

You blushed, the red color on your face only deepening when you looked up to meet her gaze. You couldn't help but to study her face, your eyes scanning and lingering over every inch of it. Her perfect dark hair fell freely down to her shoulders, and her bangs casually swooped down across her forehead. Her chocolate colored eyes drew you in, and you found it extremely difficult for you to avert your eyes in a different direction.

Fareeha put her book down, her eyes still glued onto you. Her hand reached down and threaded its way through your hair, gently massaging your scalp. "Are you alright, love?" She softy giggled. "You seem to be spacing out."

As she spoke, you couldn't help but to fixate on her lips next. You wanted nothing more than to place your own onto hers and just kiss her as slow and passionately as possible. You weren't an experienced kisser, seeing that you've only been in one or two relationships in the past. They never lasted long regardless, since your sexuality was a common deal breaker. But, not only did Fareeha have attractive features and was extremely skilled with those lips, but she accepted you for who you were (you were even surprised when she asked you out for a second date even after disclosing your sexuality with her), and the thought of that alone filled your heart with a sudden warmth.

You lifted yourself up, propping your body up with your elbows resting on the mattress. The security guard raised an eyebrow and you could almost hear a faint whimper escape her lips at the sudden loss of warmth that your body provided. You moved in and kissed her cheek as an apology to compensate for the lack of heat.

"I'm fine." You whispered against her chocolate colored skin. "Just thinking about how much I love you, that's all." You confessed, blushing even more.

"Yeah?" Fareeha chuckled once more, but she also reached a hand out to caress the side of your face. "Well then, it's a good thing I love you too." She smiled, and promptly captured your lips with her own in a chaste kiss.

Your head involuntarily tilted, craving more touch from your girlfriend's soft hand. Her palm stroked the side of your face in a loving manner before you felt it slide down your neck and eventually down to your sides. The kiss you two shared soon after became more passionate and you somehow found yourself straddling Fareeha's lap, your own hands gently clasping her face.

You felt Fareeha's soft tongue poke at your bottom lip, asking to be let in to meet with yours. Permission was easily granted when you parted your lips enough for the smooth muscle to explore your mouth. You moaned, feeling a somewhat unfamiliar sensation bubbling up in your lower abdomen. It wasn't an unwelcoming thing though.

The movie and Fareeha's book were both long forgotten as you heard the hard-covered object fall off the bed and hit the ground. The action was caused by your lover, who flipped you over so that she was completely on top of you. Your lips refused to part from one another as you continued to kiss, your lips now slightly swollen from constantly being nipped at.

Things only escalated from there as Fareeha's hands roamed farther down your body. She lifted one of your legs up and placed it somewhat over her back. She then placed her upper thigh between your legs, causing you to moan once more. That sensation you felt earlier was rapidly increasing at an uncontrollable pace, and it only got more intense once you felt the security guard plant a mix of gentle and harsh kisses along your neck and jaw.

Your body shook, and your breathing was unstable. Your mind was conflicted as you pondered on whether or not you wanted things to continue as they were. Everything was happening too fast for your liking and you were unable to process everything properly.

Sure, you and Fareeha have made out before, but because of the boundaries you had set for the relationship, you two have never gotten very intimate. However, you've thought about it during the span of your relationship. The more you were with Fareeha, the more your feelings for her grew and the more you found new and sudden urges begin to arise. The only reason you hadn't discussed the possibility of taking things to the next level with your girlfriend was because you were too scared to do so.

You were scared that once you took that next step in the relationship, she'd leave you as soon as she'd gotten what she wanted. You were afraid that she was only dealing with you for this long so that she could earn your trust and then leave once everything was said and done. Maybe she was even seeing other girls and was waiting for you to finally open up to her, just so she could add you to the list along with the other girls that she potentially saw on the side. Even though Fareeha had promised you that she would never do such a thing and wouldn't hurt you like how your previous lovers had, the thought of it alone still worried you.

Luckily, Fareeha had noticed your change in demeanor and heard you whimper from under her, and not in a pleasurable way. She lifted herself off from you, and her worried expression turned to one of fear once she witnessed you practically shivering in fear.

"(Y/N), what's wrong?" She hurriedly asked. "Did I do something wrong? Am I going too fast for you?"

You tried to calm yourself down enough to answer, but your anxiety wasn't letting up. Your breathing became shallower as you tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to form.

"Hey, hey it's okay." You faintly heard your girlfriend's voice ring in your ear as she took you in her arms. "I'm here, you're safe." She repeated in a hushed manner as she gently stroked your hair. Feeling her fingers thread through your hair and gently massage along your scalp helped to soothe you, and after a few minutes had passes, you managed to completely calm yourself down.

You were embarrassed by your actions, concerned about how much of a hindrance this must have been to the Egyptian. With a small peep like sound, you gently pushed yourself away from her grip, unable to look her in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." You meekly apologized. Your throat was suddenly dry, so your voice was a bit scruff.

Fareeha cocked her head in confusion. "For what? You didn't do anything wrong."

You shook your head in disagreement. "I love you Fareeha, I really do, but I'm scared about taking things to the next level. I like our dynamic and what we have, and I'm always eager to discover and try new things with you, but what if this messes things up?"

Fareeha stared at you blankly for a moment, and you automatically thought the worst. What if you had upset her with what you said?

The security guard crossed her legs and placed a finger under your chin, having you finally look up at her. A faint smile had formed on her face as she looked lovingly into your eyes.

"Babe," she started, "something like that would never cause a rift between us. You don't have to worry about something like that."

"I know, but-"

The finger on your chin moved to your lips. "It's okay to be scared, and I don't blame you for worrying about something like that. We don't have to go that far if you don't want to or if it makes you uncomfortable." Next, her hand moved to caress your cheek. "I can go the rest of my life without it as long as I'm with you." Finally, a brief kiss was planted on your lips to emphasize her point.

Your heart swelled at her words. Her reassurance instantly helped to ease your anxiety even more. Pulling away from her lips, you hugged your lover tightly, her muscular arms wrapping around your waist as she gently rubbed your back.

"You're too good to me." You whispered, tightening your grip on her. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"I should be asking you that same question."

You smiled and burrowed your face into the crook of her neck.

The two of you sat like that for a few more minutes before Fareeha decided that you should call it a night. You agreed, suddenly feeling a wave of fatigue course through your body. You ungripped yourself from the darker skinned woman and laid yourself next to her, all while Fareeha pulled the blanket over both of your bodies. She took you in her arms again as she positioned herself to be the big spoon, and wished you a good night, stealing a few kisses and claiming her love for you once more.

It wasn't long before she fell asleep. You were still awake though, your mind still processing your feelings towards her. With everything that had occurred earlier, you still had your doubts, but they weren't as strong and persistent as they were before.

You shuffled in your girlfriend's arms, turning so that you could face her sleeping form. Her breathing was light, and she looked even more beautiful as she slept peacefully. You couldn't help but to snuggle closer to her, placing a chaste and soft kiss on her lips. She unconsciously held you tighter, as if she was afraid to let go of you, or that you'd slip away if she did. Despite there not being any signs of danger in the quiet house, you automatically felt safe and protected in her arms.

It was clear to you now that you were in fact ready to become more intimate with Fareeha. Maybe it was time for the two of you to sit down and discuss the topic in-depth, you thought. But for now, you decided to let the thought go for the night, and to finally get some rest.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been a few weeks since your last minor anxiety attack. Since then, you had mustered up the courage to finally sit Fareeha down, when she had free time, and talk about the future of your relationship. It wasn't easy to formulate clear and coherent sentences, but she was patient with you, and you were eventually able to get what you wanted to say off your chest.

You stressed how much you loved her, and that over time, you couldn't help but to fall even more in love with her, and you honestly couldn't see yourself with anyone else. She was loyal, honest, and understanding of your needs and wants, especially when it came to your sexuality and nerves. To you, she was perfect. Her personality wasn't something you often encountered with people nowadays, which is why you found her so attractive in the first place.

You eventually told her that you were more than ready to become more intimate with her. She approached the topic with caution, asking you what you liked and what you probably wouldn't be comfortable with. When you told her, she simply nodded and took note of what not to do when the time came for you two to get down to it. Even though this wouldn't be your first time, it would be your first time with her, and she of course wanted it to be special, yet not too wild.

Finally, Fareeha suggested that the two of you set up a date for it to happen. It was a bit strange to you, scheduling something like this, but you ultimately didn't mind. To be honest, knowing when it would occur would probably help you plan things better, and may ease your nerves a bit instead of just rushing straight into it. You didn't want another panic attack to happen after all.

When the day came, Fareeha was extremely affectionate, more than usual actually. It was quite cute to witness.

She woke you up with breakfast in bed and had forced you to relax when you were done eating instead of helping out with the dishes, even though you were more than happy to do so. After breakfast, you two usually hit the gym. Fareeha hits the weights while you admire her from the treadmill. This time however, she suggested that you two go for a light jog around the neighborhood. The weather was nice and the two of you set a comfortable pace while having a casual conversation.

After you came back and showered, you two settled on relaxing for the rest of the day. You guys watched a few comedy movies for the rest of the afternoon. You were cuddled up on the couch, a thick blanket wrapped around you both as Fareeha held you from behind and you settled in her lap. When it was time for dinner, there was a minor disagreement about what to do for food. Your girlfriend had insisted that you two should go out to a nice restaurant, but you were too comfortable and didn't want to move from the couch. The older woman finally gave in and ordered take out for the two of you, refusing to let you pay.

Night came quickly, and the both of you decided to retire to your shared bedroom. The planned events of the night almost flew over your head, and you would've completely forgotten about it if you hadn't noticed how nervous your girlfriend looked. Her usual confident yet calm demeanor was replaced with one of uneasiness.

"Wait, here." Fareeha said as you two stood in front of the bedroom door. She stepped inside while you waited, the door closing behind her.

You heard some shuffling movements and a few mumbles. Your curious levels were peaked at this point, and you couldn't help but to wonder what she was doing in there. Luckily, you didn't have to wait too long.

The door opened and Fareeha beckoned you closer. She held out a simple black blindfold for you to put over your eyes. You stared at her with a raised eyebrow, but you put it on regardless, especially since you couldn't resist the puppy dog look in her eyes.

The security guard guided you from there on, instructing you to make a subtle left or right to make sure you didn't bump into anything or step on something. With her guidance, you made it safely to the bed.

"Can I take this off now, babe?" You asked, your hand already reaching for the blindfold.

"Not yet, habibti." She said. "Just one more second."

You heard more shuffling and a few loud scratches. A few moments later and the air around you started to become more fragrant. You couldn't identify the exact smell, but you guess it was some kind of vanilla or cinnamon scented candle that had been lit.

You sat quietly as you waited to be granted your sight back. The bed dipped from behind you, your lover's signature scent hitting your nostrils. Fareeha reached for the piece of cloth that covered your eyes, undoing the knot just a bit before abruptly stopping.

"Are you ready, love?" She asked, her breath gently breezing across your neck.

You shivered at the feel but nodded.

Fareeha finally allowed you to see again, untying the blindfold and throwing it across the floor. You adjusted your eyes, taking note of what was around you. It was no surprised that there were lit candles that were safely on the desk. What had surprised you was that the bed was nicely made with extra sheets and extra fluffy pillows. There were also rose petals scattered about the room and on the bed as well. There was also a bottle of champagne on the night stand, along with two glasses, and a full bowl of fresh fruit next to it.

You looked over at your girlfriend, who surprised you yet again with a few gifts in her hand. A small bear and a small bouquet of roses occupied her hands, and you couldn't help but to chuckle at the situation you found yourself in. You accepted her gifts, and briefly kissed her to thank her, but also making a comment about how cheesy she was.

"I just wanted to woo you like how I did on our first date." She shrugged. "This is a big step we're taking, and I know how anxious you can get when it comes to stuff like this, so I wanted to show you how much I care for you and how important this is for me." She trailed off, blushing. "I'm also glad you trust me enough to let this happen between us, you know?"

You studied her words for a moment. Her body language was uneasy, and she was a bit fidgety. That, along with her behavior all day, made you realize just how serious the Egyptian woman treated this. She was willing to go out of her way to do all of this just for a night of intimacy, and it honestly made you fall even more in love with her.

That's when you realized and finally came to terms that Fareeha definitely was nothing like your past lovers. She actually cared for you and was careful not to push you over the edge when it came to trying new things. She was patient, kind, had all the qualities of a perfect significant other, and you couldn't have asked for anyone better. (Yet you still wondered when the hell she had time to decorate the bedroom like this.)

You set the bear and the roses to the side, and wrapped yourself around Fareeha's strong frame, your lips clashing with hers. Your emotions were running wild, and you couldn't think of a single phrase of sentence that would let her know just how much you loved her, so you figured it would be best to show her instead.

You two kissed quite passionately for some time. Fareeha held on tightly to your waist as your hands roamed her body. You never really realized just how toned her entire body was. You've visually admired it before and you've touched her (in a non-sexual way) before, but being this close to her in a sensual way only peaked your sexual attraction to her.

Fareeha gently placed you down on the mattress, a few flower petals falling to the ground in the process. She hovered over you as she explored your body as well. She was careful and slow with her movements, because she didn't want to startle you in anyway. The last thing she wanted was to make you uncomfortable and to trigger you into another anxiety attack like the other night.

She broke your kiss, only to slowly start kissing her way down your jaw and to your neck. A wave of arousal courses through you as she gently bit down on your skin. You felt her smile a bit as you let out a soft moan. She kept nibbling at your skin until she was satisfied with the new mark she had given you, licking it to soothe the tender feeling.

"Did you give me a hickey?" You asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Fareeha nodded. "I think it looks good on you." A smirk. "I can give you more if you'd like?"

You blushed, and averted your gaze from her, but you nodded regardless. You wouldn't admit it out loud, but you secretly loved sporting hickeys. You liked how the love mark was essentially a way of letting the rest of the world know who you were with, and since it was Fareeha giving them to you, you were even more proud to wear them.

Fareeha moved down and focused her attention on your chest. Her warm and soft hands ran under your shirt and just stopped below your breasts as she began to kiss them over said clothing.

"Can I take this off of you?" She asked.

You nodded once more before you assisted her in removing your shirt from your body. Once off, Fareeha asked if you were comfortable enough to take off your bra as well. You hesitated, not entirely confident in your body, but agreed and unstrapped the garment.

Your girlfriend was practically drooling at the sight of your breasts. While it made you a bit uncomfortable watching her stare at them for a moment or so, you relaxed at bit once she started praising you.

"You're so beautiful, (Y/N)." She started, kissing one nipple. "Every single inch of you," a kiss for the other nipple, "is perfect. Even Hathor herself would be jealous."

You covered your face as your blush deepened. "You're so cheesy, Fareeha."

Your girlfriend laughed, and your heart may have raced a it when you heard that angelic sound. "Sorry, I can't help that I'm making love to the most perfect woman on the planet."

You smiled into your hands. God, this woman had a silver tongue like no other. It's no wonder you said yes when she first asked you out on a date.

Suddenly, you felt something warm move along your breast. You moved your hands to see Fareeha eagerly lapping up your right breast as her hand was tending to the left one. You squeaked, easing into the pleasure she was giving you. When her mouth and hand switched sides, you moaned, and felt a rush of heat surge from your toes up to your head.

This was nothing like what you had experienced before. Your exes were either too rough with their movements or things were just not as passionate as what you were experiencing right now. The feeling was overwhelming almost, but this time, it was in a good way.

You sat up, propping yourself up with your elbows. Fareeha was able to pull her attention away form your chest and leaned up to kiss you. Her hands still found their way back to your breasts while you fumbled around with the hem of her shirt. Your girlfriend took that as a sign to strip off her shirt, exposing her abs. You stared at them in awe as she took off her sports bra, exposing her chest.

Fareeha laughed when she caught you gawking at her. "You can touch them, if you'd like." She reached for your hand and slowly eased them up to her chest. Her grip was loose, and she gave you enough time to reject her offer, but when you didn't make a move to pull away from her, she brought your palm up to place on her breast.

You brought up your other hand to meet with her other breast and soon stared caressing them. Fareeha sighed at your touch, which only encouraged you to keep going. You leaned in some more and kissed her shoulder up to her jaw. When she had enough, Fareeha gently pushed you back down and went back to tending to your needs. She wanted this to mainly be about you, so she didn't want you to worry about pleasuring her too much. As you get more comfortable with the idea of sexual intimacy during the span of your relationship, then she'd let you please her, but for now, her focus was getting you off.

Fareeha ordered you to relax as she kissed her way down your stomach. She made eye contact with you when she reached to undo your pants, silently asking if you were ready for this. You took a deep breath, only now realizing what was about to happen, but then granted her permission to strip off the rest of your clothes.

She went slow again, in case you wanted to change your mind. Once again, you didn't exhibit any signs of reluctance, so your girlfriend went ahead and slid off your pants. The same process happened with your panties.

A list of the things that you had said you were comfortable with ran through your lover's mind as she admired your glistening womanhood. Oral was something you loved, especially when your partner sucked on your clit. So, that's what Fareeha decided to start with.

She was gentle at first, licking up your slick as she mapped out your outer walls. You shuddered at the tickling sensation, which caused her to pause, but went back to work when you convinced her that you were alright.

Next, Fareeha focused on your clit, flicking it a bit with her tongue and then ultimately sucking on it. You gasped, your hand automatically reaching for her hair as your fingers threaded their way into her dark locks.

Fareeha moaned as she alternated her actions, licking up and down your core and gently sucking on your clit. The more she did this, the more wet you got, and the more she was able to taste that delicious salty yet sweet substance that slowly oozed out from your pussy.

This brought her to the next thing on your list: penetration.

You were okay with it, but had emphasized something to her that your past lovers weren't able to grasp. While you couldn't get off on it alone, it still felt nice when a maximum of two fingers were inside of you. Anything more made you uncomfortable.

Fareeha decided to test the waters and gently began to stroke your walls, her mouth now only focusing on your clit. One finger poked at your entrance, slowly yet easily slipping inside. You groaned, and your hips bucked when you felt her soft finger glide between your wet walls. Fareeha pumped it in and out from your dripping hole, loving the sounds that were emitting out from your mouth.

Then she decided to try out a second finger, but you tensed when it touched your entrance. Fareeha stopped her motions and looked up at you with concern.

"Sorry," you sheepishly apologized, "just… Be gentle, okay?"

She kissed your core. "Of course." She agreed, slowly licking you again.

Her lone finger began penetrating you once more, but this time, she eased the second one in. You let out a deep breath, but quickly got used to the feeling. When Fareeha didn't hear or take note of any other signs of discomfort, she curled her fingers up to brush against your spot.

Your hips jerked, and your moans became louder as Fareeha kept pumping her fingers inside of you. What had you panting though was the way her tongue sporadically brushed against your clit as she sucked on it. Fareeha was an excellent note taker, to say the least.

Since she didn't want to overstimulate you, she didn't tease you much, which was something you were actually thankful for. Because of that, it didn't take very long for you to come. It wasn't very intense, but your back still arched from off of the bed, and your grip on Fareeha's hair tightened just a bit. Fareeha slipped out her fingers from inside you, but still lapped at your pussy as you rode out your orgasm. Only when your body stopped quivering did she pull away from your now soaked core.

Wiping her mouth, the darker skinned woman propped herself up and over you to see if you were alright. When she was at eye level with you, you coaxed her down to kiss you, to which she obliged. You could still faintly taste yourself on her tongue, but that didn't really bother you, nor did it prevent you from deepening the kiss even further.

"Are you okay?" Fareeha asked when you two pulled apart. She smiled when you nodded. "Good, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." She said as she pulled you in to spoon you. She reached over to grab the thin blanket to cover you two.

"Wait," you spoke up, "don't you want me to do you next?"

Fareeha hummed. "Not tonight. If you'd like, then maybe in the morning, but tonight was more about you." She said, and kissed your temple. "Besides," she reached over to the nearby desk, where the almost forgotten bowl of fruit was, "we can't neglect these anymore than we already have, or else they'll go to waste." She handed you the bowl, and then reached for the bottle of champagne.

You bit the inside of your cheek, your anxiety quickly rushing up on you. Even though you didn't suggest it, you still felt a bit selfish having to be the only one that got off tonight. Plus, you wanted to pleasure your girlfriend and make her feel good in the same way she did to you.

The sound of the bottle of champagne opening and two glasses filling up echoed through your ears as you looked down at the bowl of fruit, trying to figure out what to say. Your eyes quickly widened when you noticed that it was filled with an assortment of your favorites, all chopped up into bite sized pieces into a fruit salad.

It wasn't until you felt a tap on your arm that you looked up again and saw a semi-filled champagne glass being held in front of you. You took it with your free hand, and soon afterwards Fareeha had clunked her glass with yours.

"A toast to us, and a new chapter to our relationship." She said, a hopeful look in her eyes.

You genuinely smiled, but had to hold back yet another comment on how over the top the older woman was. "Hopefully with more to come."

You two sipped at the beverage, and your anxiety vanished again. After a bit of cuddling, staying up to watch a few late-night shows, and of course finishing the bowl of fruit, you two fell asleep in each other's arms.

Once again you were enamored with the small things that Fareeha did for you. What had you honestly done to deserve this woman, you'll never really know, but at least you realized that you didn't have to doubt your relationship with her anymore.


End file.
